I have a tendency to over work myself. I always have. It is hard to take a step back and just relax sometimes. Espcially while starting a business where my studio/workspace is in my home. Whenever I'm at home I have a drive to be doing something, to be getting something done. My "free" time turns into "need to get something done" time too easily. Now, I love what I do and find so much joy out of the work I am creating, but I can't be doing it all the time, and that is the reminder I need to remember. I'll go through spells of overdoing it and realizing it and checking myself. My husband is the same way and I think we feed off of each others drive to work.
This past weekend opened my eyes to my current bout of overdoing it. Long story short, my husband and I were supposed to go on a honeymoon/1st anniversary trip to the Florida Keys this past week, but hurricane Irma dashed those plans. Since we weren't going to be rescheduling anytime soon, we decided to go camping in the Outer Banks for the weekend as a makeshift back up plan. Turns out it was exactly what the doctor ordered.
We hadn't been camping in years, one of our favorite past times. Life got in the way, and our tent and sleeping bags ended up just gathering dust on a shelf in the garage for a few years. We love being surrounded by nature. One big reason we decided to live out in the country, surronded by trees where the loudest sound at night being the chirping frogs, instead of sirens and cars going past. Now I'm getting to the point I promise.
I brought some work (emboirdery and crochet) with me because I thought just sitting on the beach and at camp all day I would be bored and need something to keep me busy. Boy was I mistaken. I spent 3 days sitting and watching the pelicans, digging my toes in the sand, listening to the sound of the waves, watching my husband try so determinedly to catch a fish, collecting the most perfect shells off the beach, looking up at the stars, and waking up to the sun. Oh and thinking, I did a lot of thinking. I was perfectly happy just being in the moment, not doing anything. I forgot about work, and all my deadlines, and schedules, and projects that need completing. I spent 3 days just being in a state of pure happiness. It reinspired me to stop and just look around every once in a while. To observe this wonderful mess that we call life and to enjoy the moment. Before you know it you blink and 5 years have passed by.
My first day back home, of course I had multi task mindset all day. I had my desk full of calendars, and projects to be completed. Working until it was time for bed. I caught myself being drawn back into to that work work work zone, and I made some promises to myself. I will find a balance, it may take some time but I am going to make more of an effort to enjoy the right now. There is so much beauty and life out there, and if I'm so concentrated in my little bubble I'm going to miss it. I don't want another 5 years to blink by without a second glance. I will focus more on what is happening right now, and take a step back from worrying about what is to come. I will make more time to get out and just be with the world around me, and the wonderful people in my life. There will still be a fair amount of work but the key is that it won't be all work. At the end of the day you're left with memories, and I want my head to be full of beautiful sunsets, skies full of stars, birds flying by, days spent with the ones I love, and happiness.